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Drabble: The Steward and the Wizard - Drifting by...
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windswept1
windswept1
Acacea
Mon, Oct. 25th, 2004 09:32 am
Drabble: The Steward and the Wizard

For the Envy challenge on tolkien_weekly.. still feels slightly beta-ish tho...:o



The Steward and the Wizard

"Mithrandir!"

The voice sounds so shrill and excited that it causes Denethor to turn around and frown at the boy running across the courtyard towards their visitor.

Faramir halts abruptly when he nears them and then stands by irresolutely chewing his lower lip before lowering his head. His bright eyes now have a wary look about them.

Denethor greets the wizard first and then watches as his younger son looks up and steps forward quietly. Faramir's words are so soft they are nearly inaudible. Yet, Denethor's ears cannot miss in his voice the smile that he never gets to hear.

***


24CommentReplyShare

ladywenham
LW
Mon, Oct. 25th, 2004 04:13 am (UTC)

Nice! I love Mithrandir/Faramir stories -- there aren't enough out there! :)

I noticed a couple of typos. Hope you don't mind me pointing them out. (I always like other people to point out mine.)

>>forwrad

Forward?

Also, should there be a period at the end of the last sentence?

Again, great job!


ReplyThread
windswept1
windswept1
Acacea
Mon, Oct. 25th, 2004 04:50 am (UTC)

Thanks:) Glad you liked

Thanks for pointing out the typos too... I did notice them after posting but it took me a while to corrcet them:o


ReplyThread Parent
silverwerecat
silverwerecat
Darth Purr
Mon, Oct. 25th, 2004 04:57 am (UTC)

I liked that. In just a few words it speaks tons of this Gondorian family.

Good to see you back to writing, even if it is a drabble...


ReplyThread
windswept1
windswept1
Acacea
Mon, Oct. 25th, 2004 03:31 pm (UTC)

Thanks:)
The Gondorian family does seem to have tons to speak about:)

Am very slowly limping back towards writing... hopefullt it lasts:)


ReplyThread Parent
silverwerecat
silverwerecat
Darth Purr
Mon, Oct. 25th, 2004 03:33 pm (UTC)

Am very slowly limping back towards writing... hopefullt it lasts.

I hope so too. I've found out that the best way to cure writer's block is simply to start writing.


ReplyThread Parent
windswept1
windswept1
Acacea
Tue, Oct. 26th, 2004 12:20 pm (UTC)

I've found out that the best way to cure writer's block is simply to start writing.

Yup... I guess so...:) but mine was more of a time problem... anyway I figured, I just needed to stop spending far too much time on work!:)


ReplyThread Parent
mrkinch
mrkinch
m is not here
Mon, Oct. 25th, 2004 06:17 am (UTC)

What an unhappy, viscious circle!

And I assure you that a well-constructed drabble is not an "even".*g*


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windswept1
windswept1
Acacea
Mon, Oct. 25th, 2004 03:18 pm (UTC)

Thanks! Glad you liked it:)


ReplyThread Parent
faramir_boromir
faramir_boromir
Gondor's Finest Brothers
Mon, Oct. 25th, 2004 01:40 pm (UTC)

This is another excellent example of how Denethor needs to possess every bit of his sons' love. There is no room for them to love others--even each other--better than they love him. I particularly liked "His bright eyes now have a wary look about them." Faramir has seen this reaction before once too often. He knows his father on this point.

A lovely drabble.


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windswept1
windswept1
Acacea
Mon, Oct. 25th, 2004 03:20 pm (UTC)

Faramir has seen this reaction before once too often. He knows his father on this point.

Yup.. he does. Very well indeed:o And Denethor definitely isn't happy! His son is going to be a wizard's pupil:)

Glad you liked it:)


ReplyThread Parent
qowf
qowf
The Queen of the Wild Frontier
Mon, Oct. 25th, 2004 02:37 pm (UTC)

I like it. You know me and beta:

Faramir halts abruptly when he nears him

Who? Denethor or Gandalf? It's the only thing I had to say, "ah yes," to.

Otherwise, you've summed it up in a viewpoint not often seen.


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windswept1
windswept1
Acacea
Mon, Oct. 25th, 2004 03:29 pm (UTC)

Hmm.. halts abruptly when he nears them?

Good to hear you liked:) and that the viewpoint works...it came a little out of the blue:)


ReplyThread Parent
qowf
qowf
The Queen of the Wild Frontier
Mon, Oct. 25th, 2004 03:34 pm (UTC)

"Them" is great. I didn't picture them together and now I do. Then, we see Faramir coming from afar.

Excellent.


ReplyThread Parent
windswept1
windswept1
Acacea
Tue, Oct. 26th, 2004 12:21 pm (UTC)

Oh good! Thanks for pointing it out:)


ReplyThread Parent
the_reverand
the_reverand
The Rev
Mon, Oct. 25th, 2004 08:46 pm (UTC)

Oh, that's sad! I didn't expect it. Very nicely dones. It says so much about Denethor and his son.


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windswept1
windswept1
Acacea
Tue, Oct. 26th, 2004 01:49 pm (UTC)

Yes... Denethor's just learnt his younger son's pals with Gandalf:)

Glad you liked!


ReplyThread Parent

windswept1
windswept1
Acacea
Tue, Oct. 26th, 2004 01:51 pm (UTC)

Thanks!:) good to hear it works... i had a little trouble getting it just right:)


ReplyThread Parent
stillwell
stillwell
stillwell
Mon, Oct. 25th, 2004 11:58 pm (UTC)

Very revealing! Thanks *


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windswept1
windswept1
Acacea
Tue, Oct. 26th, 2004 01:51 pm (UTC)

Good to hear that

Thanks!:)


ReplyThread Parent

windswept1
windswept1
Acacea
Tue, Oct. 26th, 2004 01:53 pm (UTC)

even at an early age, Faramir knew his father well.

Yes, I think he was managing to figure him out by then:o

Thanks:)


ReplyThread Parent
smor
smor
Becky
Tue, Oct. 26th, 2004 04:29 am (UTC)

I love how you drew the contrast between Faramir's reactions to Gandalf and Denethor. It's very well-done.


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windswept1
windswept1
Acacea
Tue, Oct. 26th, 2004 01:56 pm (UTC)

Oh goody! I was a little unsure whether about how that would come across...

Thanks!:)


ReplyThread Parent